Stoicism and Relationship: How to Live a Relationship Like a Stoic

Mümin Ahmedoğlu
8 min readSep 27, 2021

“How could two human beings who are base have sympathy of spirit one with the other? Or how could one that is good be in harmony with one that is bad? No more than a crooked piece of wood could be fitted to a straight one, or two crooked ones be put together.” Musonius Rufus.

Stoicism is frequently applied to one’s own life. It’s utilized to assist people to stay focused and unfazed whether they’re going through a difficult period or facing difficulty. However, it can also be used between two people to maintain a relationship’s love strong.

Love, understanding, variety, progress, and happiness are all factors that can help a relationship succeed. In a relationship, practicing stoicism can help to support all these attributes.

Both Marcus Aurelius and Seneca wrote about their wives with affection. Seneca, who lost his only kid, writes so brilliantly about the joys of parenthood that it’s apparent how much he loved his family. Cato, the colossal Roman Stoic who fought Julius Caesar, was profoundly devoted to his daughter (and she for him).

When the Stoics love, they were also concerned that their feelings would lead to contrary to their philosophy. Stoic happiness (eudaimonia) is lived without passion, desire, sadness, grief, or fear. As a result, when Stoic thinkers speak about love, it is frequently in the context of lofty ideals, glorifying virtue and equating love for glory, fortune, pleasure, lavish living, and others indifferent to a feverish desire irrational and hard to satiate.

In love, the Stoic would advise you to concentrate on what you can control. Accept your human existence and the limitations imposed by nature. Recognize that you cannot own what you adore. We have loved ones on loan to us, and we should cherish them if they are with us. When they are gone, though, we should not be sad or distressed by their absence.

These are unquestionably tricky pills to swallow. At the same time, we must keep in mind that moderation is an essential component of Stoic virtue.

Although the Stoics never compromise on philosophical principles, they allow for a broad spectrum of emotional responses if they are reasonable and founded on proper knowledge and judgment.

Mümin Ahmedoğlu

Writing about Defence and Technology | Autonomous Systems | Technology Policy | Project Management | Economics | Turkey